What They Don’t Tell You In Orientation…

Those of you who have spent time in a culture that is different than your own can appreciate the navigation that Heidi and I have been doing for the past few months here in Nepal. I thought about this the other day after a meeting that did not happen exactly as I had planned. I scheduled this meeting at 1 o'clock and despite the crazy traffic, managed to arrive on time. Walking toward the person's office, I noticed that he was meeting with several other people. His office door was open so I strategically stood so that he could clearly see I had arrived. We made eye contact, but he did not ask me to wait or usher me in. So I decided to stand out of sight for a few minutes until the other people left. Ten minutes later, three more people had entered his office. He seemed to be holding several meetings at one time- none of which showed any signs of ending soon. Finally, I just walked in, which apparently is what I was supposed to do. We then proceeded to have a five minute "meeting" while the others watched (and periodically offered their opinions on our conversation).

Thinking about this experience on the way home, I jotted down a few other cultural lessons we've learned during our short time here. We waver between being appreciative of these norms and being annoyed- wanting to laugh and trying not to cry.

• It is bad luck for three people to leave a building at the same time. You should do whatever you can to make sure this does not happen.
  
• It is not appropriate for one person to watch while others are eating (unless, in some cases, that one person happens to be a woman). Even if that person is not hungry or does not particularly like the food that is being eaten, the person must participate in eating.
  
• You should always share the food you have with others, regardless of how little you have (or how much you really like your food and don't really want to share it).
  
• You must remain at work until the end of the day, even if there is no power (and therefore, nothing to do) for the last five hours of the workday. It is better to sleep or talk about Indian Idol than to leave work early.
  
• When answering the phone, if you say "Hello", the person on the other line will also say "Hello". This cycle could be repeated indefinitely. It is best to say "Hello" one time, followed by "Who would you like to speak to" in order to avoid the aforementioned cycle.
  
• Nepali's take the phrase "there is always room for one more" very literally, particularly when it comes to public transportation. Heidi and I once counted 31 people in a small van that was clearly designed to hold 12. This also applies to bikes and motorcycles.
  
• You always offer someone tea when they stop by your house or office. Even if they are only planning to be there for a few minutes, you always offer tea. Furthermore, if you are offered tea and the person doing the offering is also planning to have tea (which is usually the case), it is best to accept the offer, because even if you initially refuse, the person will offer so many times that you'll eventually give in.
  
• Related to the point above, you should always offer someone a chair, even if they just stopped by your office to pay a bill or are just browsing in a shop.
  
• When handing someone something, you offer it with your right hand, while placing your left hand at your right forearm.
  
• It is always appropriate to spit, even inside a public transportation vehicle filled with people (see earlier bullet).
  
• It is acceptable to ask people questions that could be considered personal (in other cultures), such as "what kind of birth control do you use?" or "how much money do you have in your bank account?" (and yes, we've been asked both of these questions).
  
• It is always appropriate to answer your cell phone. Always (voicemail doesn't exist here, which is one of the explanations for this phenomenon). Furthermore, when answering your phone, it's always appropriate to proceed to have a long conversation, even if you are in the middle of an important meeting. Leaving the room is optional.
  
• If you are able to string together five Nepali words that sort of make sense, you are deemed an expert (even if you don't know the Nepali word for "expert").
  
• Waiting patiently in line will ensure that you forever remain at the end of the line (in those cases where something resembling a line exists).
  
• If someone asks you a question and you don't know the answer to said question, it is better to offer some kind of answer (even if it's totally made up) than to admit that you don't know.
  

When driving, you should use the horn more often than the brakes.