The End

We made our first entry for this blog on August 16, 2008, soon after we arrived in Nepal. We were shocked in many ways and found it difficult to express how we were feeling and what we were experiencing. So much has happened since that day almost two years ago, and yet, as we spend our last few days in this country, we again find ourselves without words to describe how we are feeling, to explain exactly what it means for us to leave this place.

Those of you who have read our blog over the past two years have followed us as we discovered Nepal- beautiful mountains, exotic animals, gracious people living beside and in mounds of garbage, desperate poverty and political upheaval. We have used this space to reflect, to share, to confide. We have tried to be honest. We have tried to share both our struggles and our joys. There were too many times when we simply did not have the right words, but we still tried.

We leave Nepal much different than when we arrived, in ways that we probably won't be able to articulate for some time. We have not found many answers here but have learned how to ask better questions.

Thank you for comments, support, encouragement. Thanks for listening to us, for experiencing pieces of Nepal with us.

The End.

Bare Cupboards. Bags. Memories.

Something about packing--about putting pieces of my life into an ordinary box, a bag--makes me contemplative, reflective, melancholy. The physicality, the logic of placing things inside other things, closing them, letting them go, sending them away...seems cold.

I deeply feel the emptiness of the walls, the lightness of the drawers as I open and close them, the bareness of the cupboards that still smell of turmeric...the signs that say we are leaving. I am not good at leaving.

And what about the things we won't pack into bags, wrapped carefully in dish towels and old newspapers? What about the nameless, numberless things we will leave behind? What we'll take in memory only--packed away, crowded with all the other bits and pieces we've collected with time?

I know this--this feeling coming around the bend: the fear that my memories will fade, the colors less bright, the language garbled, the sights and sounds and smells taking on the blurred edges of old dreams. But how else could I bear to keep them all?

And What We Won't Miss...

"Bandhs" or strikes. Black exhaust smoke blowing in our faces. Insane horns. Being mildly confused most of the time. Transience. Concrete houses. No voice mail or answering machines. No central heating. Disorganization. Motorcycles on sidewalks. Dust everywhere. The smash and chaos of crowded public transport. The next door neighbor's blasting puja music at dawn. Stray dogs. Nearly getting run over by SUVs on tiny streets. Faulty systems. Power cuts. The impossible visa process. Putrid toilets with no toilet paper and/or soap. Water shortages. Iodizing produce. Belly troubles. Black snot. Flooded streets. Being misunderstood, and vice versa. Un-fitted sheets. Trash. No trash cans. Being cut in front of in lines. Street vendors in Thamel. Bad ice cream. Bad sidewalks. PMRs. The smell of the Bagmati River. Maybe the worst cellphone network in the world. Nasty street-side meat shops. Smog. Unnecessary bureaucracy. No Daylight Savings Time. Early morning hocking and spitting sounds. Being the foreigner.

What We Will Miss

Temples on every corner. Hiking through villages. Random conversations with taxi drivers, shop owners, strangers on the street. Handmade paper. Momos. Fluttering prayer flags. Mountains. Tailors, recyclers, fixers of everything imaginable. Winter sunshine. Rooftops. Rooftop yoga. Bargaining. Slow-pacedness. Color. Festivals. Spontaneous singing. Tuk tuks. Mangoes. Kite-flying. Monsoons. Nepali warmth and hospitality. Curry smells coming through the open windows. Butter lamps. The vegetable lady. The jangle of glass bangles. Passing cows, water buffalo and elephants on the street. Cheap food. Making fun of tourists who wear touristy things. Trying to speak Nepali. Ignoring traffic rules. Fresh tomatoes year round. Getting excited about finding things that remind us of home. Symbols, rituals, traditions. Chaotic markets on tiny, winding streets. Monkey sightings. Daily surprises. Corner-corner stores. Buffalo milk delivered to our door. Motorcycle rides. Wild boar sausage. 50 cent movies. Fresh naan. The ringing of puja bells. Newari meals at Bal Krishna's house. Thumba Thursday in Thamel. The landlord's dog. Friends from all over. Finding funny typos. Bougainvillea. Himalayan French cheese. The sound of monks chanting. Prayer wheels. Sunday Market. Sitting cross-legged. Indoor shoelessness. Saying Namaste.

"Kahile Shanti Aaunchha?"

“When will peace come?” This is a question the people of Nepal have been asking for a long time. Many thought it was close back in 2005, during Nepal’s civil war, when political parties formed a seven party alliance, aimed at ending the autocratic rule of the King and reintroducing democracy. Peace was in sight when the King ended emergency rule and reinstated parliament after the people spent 19 days protesting in the streets in April of 2006. When the government started talking to the Maoists and finally signed the Comprehensive Peace Agreement (CPA) seven months later, many thought peace was just around the corner. The CPA officially ended a brutal ten year civil war, brought the rebel Maoists into mainstream politics and paved the way for Constituent Assembly (CA) elections. The mandate of the CA would be to write new Nepal’s new constitution. After several delays, hopes for peace were again raised when the elections took place without any major incidences of violence in April of 2008. Surprising almost everyone, the Maoists won the highest number of seats, but failed to reach a majority, making political cooperation necessary for the writing of the new constitution. During the first meeting of the CA in May of 2008, Nepal was declared a secular, democratic republic, and the King left the palace, ending the 250 year old monarchy. Surely, now peace had come. Yet, obstacles remained. Holding together a fragile coalition government and running the country proved difficult for the Maoists, who had spent the previous 10 years waging a war in the jungle. The coalition government ended in May of 2009 when the Maoist Prime Minister resigned over a row with the Army Chief. Peace remained elusive. Several weeks later, a new coalition government was formed, headed by the United Marxist Leninist (UML) party, with the Maoists in opposition. This government has spent almost every ounce of energy since that time trying to stay in power, leaving little space for anything else- such as writing the new constitution.

“When will peace come?” With less than two months remaining before the May 28 deadline for the promulgation of the new constitution, this question hangs in the air. To be fair, the CA has made some progress, and pieces of the constitution are in place. But significant issues remain. How many former rebel combatants will be integrated into the Nepal Army? The government has proposed around 3,000 while the Maoists are demanding 15,000. How will Nepal be restructured as a federal country? Some say geographically, others say according to nationality (or ethnicity, depending on who you’re talking to). Will there be one state or two states in the Terai? What is the role of the President? Will the structure of the Army be changed? These are the difficult questions which remain unanswered and keep peace at bay.

Last week, senior politician GP Koriala, the one man who commanded respect from all the political parties, passed away, leaving a gaping hole in Nepal’s peace process. Hopes for a new constitution by May 28 are dwindling.  There is a provision for the deadline to be extended, but to do that; a state of emergency would need to be declared. The Maoists, for one, are suspicious of what the other parties may try to do during a state of emergency, and it’s not certain that they will allow it to happen. The mandate of the CA is tied to the writing of the new constitution and will be dissolved as of May 28 (if an extension is not passed). Numerous scenarios are being imagined if the deadline is missed. Strangely enough, some insist that only the President, who has very limited authority in the current arrangement, will remain. Others talk of a military coup, which happens somewhat regularly in many South Asian countries but has never happened in Nepal. The Maoists may launch a third “People’s Movement”, which would most likely at least begin peacefully. In recent days, the former King has re-emerged on the political scene, stating in a television interview that the monarchy could be revived. Some fear that monarchy supporters and Hindu fundamentalists could use the current vacuum left by Koriala’s death as an opportunity to attempt to restore a Hindu Kingdom. Other scenarios include a combination of these possibilities.

It’s difficult to know what will happen. For now, at least some Nepalese remain hopeful that the constitution will be written on time, and that peace will finally come. If that doesn’t happen, there are many people in Nepal and supporters from around the world who will continue to hope, knowing that peace, although elusive, is coming. Shanti aaundaichha. Peace is coming.

Saying Goodbye & Saying Hello

It’s really hard to believe that our two year assignment with MCC in Nepal is wrapping up. Heidi and I experienced a bit of a reality check last week when MCC booked our tickets home. As you can imagine, we’re full of mixed emotions…excited to hug our families and see how much our nieces and nephews have grown, happy to be able to reconnect with friends…but also quite sad to be leaving our friends in Nepal, anxious about jumping back in to the rat race life in the States, etc, etc. We are trying as much as possible to reflect on our time here- how have we changed? what do we value now that wasn’t so important before? We are also trying to enjoy every moment here, to breathe in all that makes life in Nepal wonderful.

Of course, we have also been forced to think about life after Nepal. With that in mind, we wanted to share our plans with you. Our two year assignment with MCC was scheduled to end in July. However, I will be starting a graduate program this fall. Since we wanted to have some time at home before packing up again, MCC is permitting us to end our term a bit early. We will arrive in PA on June 17 (just in time to hit the beach with Heidi’s family). We’ll spend about two months at home- eating amazing ice cream, hanging out with friends, taking long walks without hearing a million horns- you know, the usual stuff. Sometime in August, we’ll be moving to Albuquerque, New Mexico, where I will begin graduates studies in the Community & Regional Planning Program at the University of New Mexico. Heidi will be looking for a job, and then after we settle in a bit, hopes to work on completing her Bachelor’s degree. This, of course, will mean another big change for us…and more time spent away from our friends and families in Lancaster. We’re comforted by the fact that we’ll only be a 30 hour drive from home, instead of a 20 hour flight. We both feel good about this decision. We have friends living in Albuquerque who have graciously answered our questions and will help us find housing, jobs, etc. And it’s hard to beat 310 days of sunshine a year!

We look forward to seeing as many of you as possible over the summer.

Colors. Camels. Curries. Chai.

We have just returned from the vibrant, magical, chaotic, pulsing, delicious land of India. It's impossible to experience even a fraction of the country in only 2 short weeks, but we did our best. The trip started out in Delhi, where we spent a night with our gracious hosts, Amos and Rowena Stoltzfus. (Yes, there is more than one Amos Stoltzfus in South Asia. What are the chances?) We wandered through old tombs and saw the Mahatma Gandhi Museum, then jumped on a train for Agra, to see the epic Taj Mahal. The whole experience of being in Agra ended up being a bit more "epic" than we would have liked: we experienced Holi (the Festival of Colors) there. It is a Hindu festival (also celebrated in Nepal) that is celebrated with color--and lots of it. Colored powder, water, paints (or whatever medium is on hand) is thrown into the air, the streets, onto anyone who is fearless enough to brave the streets on this day. It's messy, a bit wild, and doesn't wash out easily. Since we had an overnight train to catch in the evening (without the chance of a shower), we decided not to embrace the festivities. We snuck to the Taj Mahal just after sunrise (exhausted after a night of trying, and failing, to sleep through blaring all-night-long festival music just outside our hotel), and rested in the stunning beauty of it in the quiet gardens, before dashing back to our hotel, successfully avoiding any Holi celebrants. Thankfully, things settled down a bit by the time we had to leave for Jodhpur.

Jodphur is known as the Blue City--most of the buildings are washed in this color, which is usually made from indigo stains. We explored the amazing fort that looms over the city, looking out, spellbound, over the indigo houses. And at sunset, sitting on our guest house rooftop, overlooking the city with the fort behind us and the call to prayer resonating all around from surrounding mosques was enchanting. Jodhpur is lovely, quaint, and has the best lassis we've ever had: a creamy yogurt-based drink with saffron and cardamom. Amazing!

the fort in Jaisalmer

On to Jaisalmer...another beautiful desert city full of history, camels, intricate architecture, and an ancient fort as its centerpiece. Unlike the other forts we saw, this one was inhabited by both locals and tourists. It is literally bursting at the seams with restaurants, guest houses, shops, and various animals. A colorful labryinth! The highlight of our stay here was venturing into the desert on camels. We stopped along the way and walked through traditional villages in the Thar Desert, before de-cameling for the night at the campsite in the dunes. So surreal! Our camel driver-turned-cook started a fire and made chai, followed by a delicious feast of rice, lentils, curried vegetables, and fresh chapatis...all while we watched the sun set and the stars come out. Stars like we have never seen before! We tried to sleep under them, with nothing but breeze and silence and the rising moon around us--but it was so beautiful that closing our eyes felt wrong! We woke up to a rising sun and our camel driver approaching our bed with fresh chai. It felt like a dream.

From Jaisalmer, we took another overnight train to Jaipur, arriving before sunrise. Jaipur boasts gorgeous architecture and culture, but the chaos and intensity of the city was overwhelming. It is not as user- or tourist-friendly as the other cities we visited, so we probably didn't get to see as much as we could have. We walked the crowded streets, our senses flooded with the smells of frying samosas, fresh rosewater perfumes, urine, spices, exhaust... and finally escaped in the guilty pleasure of a shopping mall! We ate at the food court--which hasn't happened in a very long time. Trays, nice bathrooms, fountain soda, oh my! Some mild culture shock occurred, especially after eating premium quality ice cream. It must have been too much for Amos to handle, because he came down with a violent sickness: fever, vomiting, diarrhea, etc. for 24 hours. Poor thing! Thankfully, he recovered in time for us to take in the gigantic Amber Fort of Jaisalmer, and to enjoy a few more bites of Indian cuisine. And the next day, back to Delhi!

view from Amber Fort in Jaipur

We spent our last afternoon in India at Dilli Haat, a lovely market in Delhi that is government regulated (i.e. much less harrassment, semi-fixed prices, good variety) and is said to represent each state of India in its many stalls. We basked in the relative quiet of the market, savored yet more scrumptious Indian food, and shopped, of course. We even met a Nepali at the market. Afterwards, we returned to the Stoltzfus Abode for a lovely, non-curried meal (which we were grateful for at this point) and a comfortable bed. And in the morning? Fresh bagels!! The one food we have been craving with embarrassing ferocity! It was the perfect ending to a wonderful, adventurous vacation. Here's to India!

PS. While we had a fabulous trip to India, we were thankful that it was just that: a trip. It was a beautiful experience. But Nepal feels more like home, at least for now. We're glad to be here, day to day...we know it was the right place for us for these 2 short years.

Faces of Nepal

Nepalis are beautiful people...the smiling eyes of a rural farmer, the story-carrying wrinkles of an older woman, the joyful smile of a young mother, the ruddy cheeks of a small child. I find these images hard to resist. I also tend to resist capturing these images with my camera. Taking pictures of people always makes me feel invasive and way too touristy. This past week, I visited a few villages with one of MCC's partner organizations. During our visit, we had the chance to talk with some of the people who have participated in the work our partner organization is doing. I took this opportunity to snap some people pictures without feeling too invasive or touristy.

These people are Nepali, and I love them.

I See You

I see you almost every day…when I'm walking to the bank or the post office or the coffee shop. You're always sitting in the same spot on the sidewalk, leaning against the rail. I try to look down as I walk past you so I don't have to see your outstretched hand, your hopeful eyes, your distorted foot. Sometimes I purposefully look you in the eyes so that I can honor your humanity while not meeting your needs. I have many reasons for not giving to you…

You are dependent on the charity of others.

If I give to you today, you will expect me to do the same tomorrow.

Who knows what you do with the money that is given to you…alcohol? drugs?

What would happen if I gave to everyone who begged? the children who approach the taxi as we wait at a traffic light, the mothers who ask for food for the infants in their arms, the young boys who hold out their right hands while sniffing bags of glue in their left.

These are my reasons.

Do they make sense to you?

Post-Christmas Cheer

Heidi and I enjoyed a wonderful Christmas day with friends. It included lots of good food, quality time with friends' parents and a stirring rendition of "12 Days of Christmas". After Christmas, we headed to Pokhara for some vacation time. On the bus ride back, we decided to pen a "Nepali 12 Days of Christmas". Here it is for your reading and singing pleasure:

On the 12th day of Christmas, Nepal gave to me...

12 monks a' chanting

11 loads a' shedding

10 sadhus smoking

9 women spitting

8 yaks a' yakking

7 days of striking

6 hairy hippies

5 M-A-N-G-Y D-O-G-S

4 crowded buses

3 dudh chiyas

2 bloody expats

And a yeti in a tree!